Writing on my notes app because I was on a brisk walk for cardiovascular health, and had to take a break and watch the sunset at the park! People are flying kites and it’s so beautiful. There are pairs of people dotted across the hill and everyone is watching the skyline as it wakes up for the evening. Behind us, the sky is doing some beautiful work. Very neon orange. As always, I’m texting Yumna about it. We are essentially in constant communication, and I’m grateful that the partnership of AotGW hasn’t overshadowed our general chattiness.
I don’t even feel lonely, sitting by myself in the grass, as I watch the pairs go about their time here. Most people lay on blankets, everyone is chatting, and two girls do yoga together in the sunset (to this image, Yumna texts me “us inshallah//soon//trust” and I do trust!) I can’t even feel lonely because as I walk to the park, still with a map because I’m not yet oriented, I am grounded in my friends back home and my friends here and my friends to be made.
I must return to the walk so that I make it home before sunset and my sneakers turn into pumpkins.
Feeling: hopeful, present
i am back in my beautiful detroit for a little under a month until i set off for d.c for a few days, and then, england!
being back home brings up all sorts of feelings -- good ones and sore ones and sad ones and happy ones. for now, i feel like i'm roosting -- so many things i want to see and be and become and materialize! i feel like i'm on the cusp of the new year, making lists and moodboards and squirelling away information for a future me...
in response to laura's post, i am kind of excited to be out of school again more then anything. i dream of a apartment with a big bay window. and future cat. and all the art i've tastefully assembled over the years arranged just so on the walls, and to have my friends over for lunch, cheese and crackers, word game night -- i want to live close to the beach and have wall rack for my bike. i want a job that pays me good money and gives me a HSA and we have a four day work week, and good PTO so i can go on tour with my future unspecified unnamed band...
i am of course, by my nature, a planner. so these times of sitting and dreaming and thinking are natural parts of my rhythm. i would really like to be very spontaneous and do-things-on-a-whim type but for things in my life to work and for me to get to the places i need to be, i am setting up the systems to success months in advance. poo poo, i suppose.
yesterday, i tagged along with my sister and cousin to get dinner in eastern market, and then a short film screening at talking dolls, a gallery in the northeast side of the city. the city was apart of the screenprint series by maamoul press, which focuses on southern lebanese narratives. these films were precious, and very beautiful -- they reminded me of the kindness and humor of my people even under utmost destruction. also, we ran into our other cousin and my poetry teacher from high school, which i to say, we live in a very small world and it was very nice to see them. earlier that day, i went to guitar center and dinked around. i sold my acoustic earlier this summer and want to buy a telecaster, but am very undecided! i am hard at work with the zine, and i am very excited to share it with the world.
other fun things that have happened or are happening: little chair show at plav post in hammtramck last wednesday, my last coop dinner cook where we made mountains of pupusas and curtido and left me smelling like fryer oil, and a quiet morning tomorrow with my sister at my favorite ann arbor haunt, jefferson market. i'm going to eat a heap of huevos rancheros and make like a bandit. oh, and i want to go record shopping soon. i really want to beef up my belle and sebastian collection because i remembered how stinking good they are.
i thought being back home would be harder then it feels. i just have to remember that the difficulty of this moment will pass.
Hello there!
Yumna and I are three weeks out from our release date of our zine. It’s been a month of writing, interviewing, and chatting about how we want it to look. Two days ago, I ran the ink ribbon on my roommate’s typewriter dry, so we’re gonna get creative with putting a pretty text-heavy zine to print.
I’ve been writing a lot more, because of this zine and newsletter. It’s been good for me, I think. I used to write a lot more, but have never in my life been able to feel comfortable calling myself a “writer.” I’m hoping that AotGW will get me there… I find that the writing is slowly coming easier to me!
I’m job searching these days, coming up empty handed in the jobs that I really want, which Yumna and I call “soft life jobs”: WFH options, nice insurance, foundation jobs. I’m in a season of my health where the work-life balance and benefits are closer to requirement than perk, which is intimidating and makes all these non-responses and rejections harder to take. I have a trial shift today at a military surplus and boutique combo store, and I’m trying to push the pit of dread building in my stomach down and out. It’s hard to do new things, but I must! An income is important!
In a new city, building a new life, trying to get into new creative habits, it’s hard to balance my intuitions. I am a cautious person by nature. I am learning as I go and fighting against myself to expand my world. It’s hard work!
I’m hoping to play more shows in Chicago. I’m hoping to meet more people in Chicago. I’m hoping to get a job that floats me, then a job that’s awesome in Chicago. I’m hoping to write and print the zine in Chicago, and then share it in Chicago. Though I am wary and cautious, I am going to be wary and cautious in Chicago. And then be bold and daring in Chicago.
hello. yumna here. june is coming and i am soaking up every last bit of sun. a very exciting show, our dear sleep tight tiger opened for horsegirl at the magic bag.
i must confess, i have lived in southeast michigan my entire life and have never made it out to ferndale...ope.
this was very special because it was sort of a reunion of people from laura and i's college days...many friends from our old job came to the show, including our pal navya, who made it out from chicago. so special and sweetie. a big and beautiful surprise. i gabbed with my friend sigi, and we caught up over salacious details of our old boss..eeeeeep! gossip can be so fun...
i (laura) went on tour with my band a week and a half ago! if i don't write about it now/soon, there will be new things to write about and it will fade into the back of my mind... onward
i am in a band called sleep tight tiger and we make twee music and we went on my first tour, which brought us to detroit, milwaukee, madison, chicago, louisville, and cincinatti. no small feat for a girl like me! i think it may be too indulgent to write up a tour diary, so here are some highlighted moments:
1. playing in milwaukee in front of my twin, and many of my boyfriend's friends, and my bandmate's family! those first three shows were filled with family and loved ones which felt very special
2. two bands dropping from the bill at the gamma ray in madison, wi, and getting to play a loooong set that included a tom tom cover and two songs that aren't quite finished. exhilirating to play on stage! i was hoping that someone would say that they really loved the one i had written, because i know it needs something more. why can't someone else do the investigation of what that something is! earlier that day, we ate avocados in a beautiful park.
3. hanging with our friend averi, and having a photoshoot entirely on film! felt like play, and i felt like a true rock star.
4. an unhinged show in chicago after the many family friendly shows, where steve had a cowbell for the first time, and i often couldn't sing into the mic because i was struck with laughter. very fun, but probably will be my "silliest" show as i don't intend on repeating... i am a #professional
5. visiting the intuit museum in chicago and seeing their collection of henry darger's work. their collection eased my homesickness and i am so glad we got to go!
tour was affirming and grief-causing all at once. as artist, i got to perform lots! and they all liked us! truly! it made me so excited for the opportunities we have coming up. i feel motivated to work hard on writing new material. but. as the rest of myself, tour required an immense amount of work, and i felt like i couldn't keep up with the lifestyle. this is the first time that i've felt these two identities separating within me to this extent. feeling hopeful that i will be able to work out a compromise between these two sides. maybe i need to read some memoirs of musicians who are also fragile.
another show at gingko!
i had anticipated this show for a while, and it was a treat. winston hightower is lots of fun - the set split between sweet guitar melodies, spoken word samples and punchy synths. for the latter half of the set, winston donned a fun pair of shades....it was all lots of good fun. i liked the write up of his new record '100 acre wood' in this weeks see-saw, and got a cassette, which slid perfectly into my new fossil wristlet..
philly's eraser was also on the bill - sonam parikh's punchy vocals and scratchy synths are standout. it was also my first time seieng tyvek live - the longstanding detroit punk outfit is a community favorite. very fun.
i feel a great creative and consumptive energy. i want to make make make and learn learn learn.
ok. back again! i saw the mirah show at gingko records. gingko is a relatively new record store and venue located inside of 27th letter books. gingko is run by shelley salant, wcbn local music show mainstay and member of detroit's tyvek. we here at attack of the glow worms are big fans of shelly and tyvek alike, and she's been booking some seriously great shows as of recent.
mirah was a pretty foundational, formative piece in devloping my early music taste - her voice is truly singular - airy and light, her writing witty, perfect. it seemed that the show was put together pretty last minute (not in a bad way at all!) - and i was happy to attend. she mostly did stuff from her newest record, dedication, which i need to check out. dedication seems to deal with mirah's most recent chapter in life - motherhood, grief, growing old. i came to mirah when i was 11, when all i wanted in the world was to be in some place other then where i was from, making art. i am now there, and i come to her in this middle aged record.
during her last song, she passed out a handheld bubble wand. in a world of hardened hearts, stay soft, and keep your attention toward the hopeful, shiny and bright. the things worth waking for.this is what i find in mirah's music, a return to that kind of light.
i was lucky enough to get a (free!) ticket to this show on 3.11.26 tickets sold out quickly, and i wasn’t fast enough to grab one at first. my sister notified me that her friend wouldn’t be able to attend, and i jumped at the opportunity. the ticket came with a copy of patti’s new memoir, bread of angels.
patti’s always been so special to me. i kind of relate to her, in funny ways. we are both poets, both had childhoods with overactive imaginations, dreams of sainthood. i admire when she talks about her early new york days, when she didn’t think of herself as particularly talented, just hungry for the pleasure of making art. i understand that feeling, of wanting to be a part of “it”.
i left work early that day, and as i was walking home, i noticed her seated at a popular lunch spot. i jolted, instinctively waving at her. she waved back, smiling a warm smile. patti smith! waved at me! me! i’ll hold that in my heart forever.
the show itself was lovely, with lots of perennial favorites – dancing barefoot, people have the power, and because the night, but also some deeper cuts in her catalog and some great covers, including isn’t it a pity, the music interspersed with her reading sections from “bread of angels”. i was really struck by how overtaken patti was during some segments, when she recounted her meeting with her late husband, fred “sonic” smith, at the lafayette coney island, she kept interjecting, rationalizing the story – how she didn’t like parties, and had to be coaxed with hot dogs to be social.
during the show, she called jimmy iovine (who produced easter) — patti, putting us on speaker phone, and we all sang him happy birthday. she was accompanied by her children, jackson on guitar, jesse on piano, and her longtime collaborator tony shanahan on bass and piano. the love she showed was palpable.
as for bread of angels, i devoured it in two days. what i appreciate about patti’s writing is how much reverence she has for life itself, how much she loves being here, how much she adores the wholeness of being human, in how she speaks of her beloveds, departed and in the here and now. i knew of her detroit connection, but didn’t know she lived in st. clair for so long…as a lifelong michigander. i want to claim her!
i was also lucky to go to the big pop show. i told myself i wasn't going to go crazy but i got a crisp $100 bill for eid so i listened to the demons...what a fun fun fun time. how lucky to be witnessing such earnest, real, true joy. i bought a bunch of stuff, including an artificial go cd, little chair tape, and kitship cd. i preordered the touch girl apple blossom vinyl - so decided
against it. there were a few things i wish i got physical copies of, including the memory card cd, but till next time.
some highlights from the fest
LONG LIVE CALVIN JOHNSON!
I got back from the big pop show just yesterday! My band played on Saturday, and Yumna came down to hang out with us which I am so glad about. I know already that this trip is going to be a dot on my timeline in life, but I am still digesting it. I feel like I have a lot to process so perhaps this concrete-if-consumerist blog post will be a good way to dip my toes into the beginning of that journey. I had just gotten a CD and tape player from my mom before I left, and for the first time in my life since my adolescent urban outfitters record player, I decided to make listening to physical music a practice. Big Pop show seemed like the perfect place to blow a budget!
Day One
My first purchase was the CD release of the Matilda’s Forever, My Talisman that was released by Duped – North Carolina zine/label put out by some of the Big Pop Organizers. The Matildas were the opener for the whole weekend and did a great job! They were super cute and awesome and had a full band on the stage which is different from the stripped back EP. We missed their first couple songs, so I’m glad I was able to snag a CD as they only made 22 (duplicated at the Carrboro Library earlier that day according to the singer). Very excited to play this in the mornings.
I did not buy anything else that day, at the main show or the afterparty afterwards – it was really overwhelming there! I regret it. I really enjoyed their sets and getting to know them throughout the weekend. However, I’m blessed to have access to my roommates tapes (Evan purchased the PARKiNG tape!) and we were pretty strategic about having a spread of all the
artists (still missing a Van Goth tape which stings).
Day Two
This was the longest day of music (I was there from 10:30 am to 1:30 am!!), and also the day that we played our set. I could say this about every single band on this list so I won’t – every artist I got to chat with was incredibly friendly and sweet and I had many great conversations. This day was when I really began on my “Michigan is heaven on Earth” campaign. Perhaps it was because Yumna arrived and we are South-East Michigan princesses.
Though the day was too whirlwind-y and the venue too hot for me to see the entire Sour Drops set (breaks are important!), I had already bought their tape before I saw them since I had really enjoyed the EP before we arrived. It’s just so fun!
I had gotten to talk to Superfan and hear their soundcheck before they had played their set, and I was already excited to hear them. Their set was easily the highlight for me that day – It’s rare to feel so overwhelmed by emotion during a live set for me! I purchased a shirt from them. My roommates are just as enamored as I am, and we all now have coordinating shirts from Superfan :)
I
April Magazine, all the way from San Francisco, stole my heart at the big pop show! Dreamy on stage, super awesome and funny off. I got to do my very first tape trade with them! I received a tape and their “zingle,” which is a collection of photos they found at a creative reuse store. The arrangement of the photos makes for some fascinating co-compositions. In addition to their set at the Big Pop Show, we were able to catch an ambient set they did in a public park the next morning.
Lizzie, the bassist from PARKiNG! has a zine called Test Patterns. There are a bunch of interviews of girl bassists, so I had to have one.
The last set of the night was Donkey Basketball, which was awesome. He had a crazy contraption that I could only describe as a suped-up-drum-machine-cdj. I danced like a madman – my Michigan pride got to me, and I felt the need to show (not tell) the people of Big Pop that Detroit still is the home of techno. Had a short conversation with him as I heard he is friends of Redux radio, and he gave me a CD! Very kind. Very cool. Very sore was my neck the next day.
I got a shirt from the big pop show as well, in my favorite color combo sky blue and Red. I had to keep pinching myself that we were invited to the show, and I got this sentimental feeling that I would want to pass memorabilia down from this show to the children I probably won’t have. Ha!
Day Three
Sunday was a nice and lazy day. The weather was not as hot as I thought it would be, and we got to go get ice cream with a huge troupe of people. My dream day.
I listened to Shep Treasure’s set right at the entrance into the coffee house, which meant that their already atmospheric music was just that much airier. I really appreciate the visual art on their CDs/shirts/stickers, and got a CD! I think that music such as theirs really needs me to listen in a dedicated fashion that I had at that point lost the stamina for. I am excited to listen–as I type my roommate has my copy so he can play it on his radio show.
Having already heard Kitship’s “Am I a Rock?” I was anticipating their set heavily. It was perfect! Musicians casually scattered on a small stage. Amaya invited some others to join just to the right of the stage to sing backing vocals as a “choir.” Amaya and I had previously talked about the West Coast Pop Explosion’s song “Help! I’m a Rock,” and apparently we both were introduced to the song by shazaming the soundtrack of Isle of Dogs in the movie theater in high school. Kismet. Yumna and i got matching shirts :)
Day Four
We had time for some fooling around on this day. Amaya of Kitship and A.J. of Instrument joined our crew to visit Gene Dillard’s Fantasy House, and we had a great time meeting him. I am a huge fan of grottos and all things outsider art so it was a dream to speak to him about his process!! We got up to lots of scheming and enjoyed the weather.
I listened to Sacred Heart Academy’s EP right when it came out, and I already came into this trip knowing I would return with it! So many bands (including us) released music right before the Big Pop Show, which just goes to show (heh) how special we all knew this gathering was going to be. Sacred Heart Academy is comprised of the most earnest and gregarious people, and were quite entertaining to watch.
Touch Girl Apple Blossom! Got their CD which I was shocked to see – the album isn’t out yet! Made me feel super cool to purchase that :p If I had seen them and GFB earlier in the week I probably would have purchased more but my wallet just could not stomach it.
This trip was extraordinary, and the Big Pop Show feels like a momentous occasion for the scene. I hope to make it back one day, and to see all these bands again.
This is my first time writing something for a blog of sorts! It was really fun to send myself on “assignment,” and hopefully i will write soon and better than this article heh ~